When your ex comes knocking on your door

This is a rough translation of “Khi người yêu cũ gõ cửa” by Trang Hạ. Some words and sentences had been changed in order to have the closest meaning to the original copy. If you think any changes should be made to make this translation even better, please comment bellow.

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When we’re in love, we only need one reason – our love. But when we break up, we need a lot of reasons!

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1. Why do we break up?

– My mom don’t like you.

– You’re too annoying and jealous.

– I’m too busy, we should take a break.

– We’re too far apart, we can’t take care of each other.

– We aren’t fit for each other.

When we break up, we usually try to find a reason that’s most polite, most reasonable and least hurtful. Not a lot of people could say straight into their ex’s face the most important reason: We no longer love each other like we used to do. And even less could say this : I’m already too bored of you.

A friend told me, her ex-boyfriend came to her very quietly. They had worked together, been near each other, gotten closed to each other, then fallen in love with each other. They quietly and naturally held hand, had their first kiss, and made love. And they knew they were in love, without any proposal or gift like any complicated ritual.

The day they broke up, he quietly left, without any notice.

Women know there are important reasons that make a man that we love by all our heart, one day suddenly becomes… our ex-boyfriend! The problems in our love, when it becomes irreparable, will force us to choose another life that’s easier to breath for both. However, after the breakup, in movies we still see overly-romantic scene, like in a rainy night, the guy comes knocking on the girl’s door, saying: “Baby, I still love you so much!”

There are a lot of women imagine their man would come back to them in a situation like that. Or when he’s disappointed in his new cold, unromantic girlfriend. Or when he fails on his career. Or when he repents for breaking up with her. And she would become the last place in the world where he could come to, the only one who could understand him.

Women immediately forget why they broke up!

2. When an ex looking for an ex

My friend ran out of her first love’s door because she saw him kissing his… first love! Of course, after that, he explained that was just because of a weak moment, when he saw his ex came back crying and begging.

She forgave him, and they even married each other. But a man’s habit is hard to change. After they divorced and even when he got a new wife, he still sometimes comes back to my friend and wants to sleep with her. Is there any law against sleeping with ex-wife? And who would file a lawsuit against ex-husband just because he came back and wanted to sleep with her?

Actually, there are men who think their ex is the most suitable for sex, while women day-dreaming about love after they breakup.

A lot of women, after breaking up with their ex, still accept him when he wants to have sex. She hope that each time they’re together becomes a chance of them coming back together. But with her ex, it’s only as simple as a habit.

I know a beautiful young woman, she said that her problem is the man she’s still in love with, only when he’s drunk, would come to her, hold her, and make love to her. But when he’s sober, he comes back to his current girlfriend! And she still hopes that someday, the man would come back to her, not because he’s drunk, not because he’s used to it, not because she used to be his. So one more time is nothing.

And a lot of women forgave her ex when he’s weak before his ex-girlfriend or even when he slept with his ex-wife, as long as she’s his current girlfriend. Because, after all, he did that before, and it’s explainable.

3. When “love” is just a reason

A woman that got cheated on bitterly said: “Love” is just a reason for some asshole to have sex without having to pay money! But I think a good man would never use a woman when he says he loves another women.

Even when he’s drunk, even when his ex runs back in tear, even in a lonely rainy night force his to come back to your place, even when the cruel life pushed him to the edge, even when he’s disappointed with his new love, and you are the last place that he could be.

Because, no matter what his reason to come knocking at your door, the first thing he has to do is to make you fall in love with him all over again. He has to build up a relationship with you all over again! Because, we have broken up, and our love is already far in the past. It’s not that we used to kiss, so whenever you come knock at my door, you can kiss again. Or we used to make love, so whenever you come back, you could jump in my bed!

Remember why we broke up. Don’t remember how sweet we were together.
Did what happen in the past not teach you anything?

And sometime, I don’t know why, a lot of girls open the door, even when her ex is in front of it.

Because you are not a “welcome” rug at the front door, so that whenever he wants, he can come back?

Trang Hạ

Translated by Nana3B

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Revised and updated on 15th Sep, 2012.